Friday 1 December 2006
Seeing (sh)red
So what's my gripe? It's pretty simple. I have windows next to my desk on The Square. They allow me to look out on The Square. During summer I can open my window and breathe in the air. Or I could if it wasn’t for the barking noise of a shredding van tearing up another sack-full of legal documents.
The vans sit there for at least an hour at a time grinding paper into streams of A4 slivers. Do it somewhere else you morons. Not outside my window. I have work to do and I cannot hear myself think.
By way of example, here’s a story. This is true. It really happened. I called one of these companies to complain when one of their trucks was busy a-shredding outside my window. I dunno, for the sake of argument, let’s call them Shred It (http://www.shredit.com/ 0800 028 1164). So the woman picks up the phone:
Shred It Operator: “Hello, good morning Shred It. Can I help you?”
Me: “I’m ringing about one of your vans which is outside…”
Shred It Operator: “Hello, Shred It. Can I help you?”
Me: “Yes, I’m ringing about…”
Shred It Operator: “…sorry, can you speak up, I can’t hear you.”
Me (shouting): “YOUR VANS ARE OUTSIDE MY OFFICE AND WE CAN’T MAKE TELEPHONE CALLS BECAUSE OF THE NOISE.”
[Line goes dead.]
And the trucks arrive about once a week. And to make matters worse they either park on double-yellows or park in the car park spaces and they don’t pay and display. But don’t get me started on that.
The Chimp
Noise polluters: